Dear Diary;

Dear Diary,

I no longer feel; only see. As long as my mind is my own, I will be okay. I am safe within myself, and knowing that brings me great comfort. I have went several months without writing a new blog, this one will not be inspiring or anything along those lines, just real..



Owl City has become my best friend; times are hard, I turn to Vanilla Twilight. Phoenix has been there for me just as much as The Spill Canvas. Why does my heart hurt? Why am I numb, but at the same time severely internally damaged [to the bone]?



It's never a good idea for me to think too much; I live my life in constant regret and remorse; I have no respect for myself, and I don't believe I will ever attain the strength to forgive myself for my past. I have tried for years now to love myself, is that even possible for someone like me?



[I will never forget, I do not regret, and will I not let myself become upset]

Those words help me every day, but am I beyond [help]? Breathe, smile, make sure they know that you're okay...[but are you]?...Am I?